_the man with no arms.

these pics are actually from last year, but i think they need to be seen.

there was a guy that used to live around my way. he was about 5 feet tall even, and he had no arms. he was very strange.

anyway, after leaving the barbershop late one night, i happened to see this fellow outside of the bar next door, yelling something about needing a drink in slurred speech, completely shirtless.

i took pics. enjoy.

(sorry they’re blurry– treos have suckass cameras)

smh.

_wail.

reporting, post move, from my work computer.

life is interesting. i’ll say that much. much is being done on my part to facilitate getting organized, to best employ this new computer in the absence of a proper audio interface (haven’t been making any music), to stay focused on the new york move (still forthcoming), to prioritize in view of the fact that there’s no guarantee i’ll ever make it there on my terms, to makesure my existence here in philadelphia for the interim is as comfortable and fruitful as possible.

i’m a  busy bee.

i’ve been saving money. i’ve been trying to figure out ways to make more money. it’s  gotten much easier since i don’t have to pay rent; i almost feel like i’m cheating. but whatever. the only thing that matters is the fact that my bank account isn’t paltry, as it’s been for months past.

i moved in on a friend and her roommate. i’m looking at it as very temporary. i don’t want to be there longer than a month. if i’m there longer than a month, it won’t be the worst of times, because i’ll have saved googobs of money, but i hate to impose. and i’m imposing like a motherfucker. the move was difficult and draining. i was rushed. i ended up throwing alot of shit away. my stuff is currently on 2 opposite sides of the city. i tried staying with my parents but that shit wasn’t gonna work, my dad let me know that immediately.

you know. side bar, emo style. i thought i had found some common ground with my father. boy was i wrong. it’s the same shit. same shit it ever was. as soon as i can free him of my shit permanently, it will happen. and i don’t plan on ever reaching out to him again. not even to crack a fucking beer open. you’d think after his father passing, he’d be a bit more interested in being there for his children. not that i want him to roll out the red carpet but yo. anyway.  family is family and i’m not gonna ever violate that bond, but family members definitely don’t have to be friends. i’m good b.

so yeah. i’m in on my homegirl. shit’s cool. no steady internet though. or food.

like i said earlier, been trying to focus on self improvement and small come ups as a foundation to bigger moves. downloaded a shitload of software to organize the daily cycle, be progressive and all that. mostly cause it looks cool, but mostly also because  i need it.

in a weird way, this shit is kinda exciting. i’m free, kinda. outside of this job, nothing in the city of philadelphia is holding me back. no apartment, no girlfriend, no family members standing in the way. it’s just me staring at the road. i feel a lot more mobile. trying to remember that is a positive thing is a struggle, but i’m getting there.

while i’m here in philly though, i’m going to apply for a job at my current company as an IT tech. no guarantee i’ll get it, prolly won’t, i am fairly sure you need a degree or something, but maybe my familiarity with the company and the systems we use could give me a leg up. its more money which would be fantastic. and i’d have IT experience, which i can always parlay.

i’ve also been thinking about school.  a friend of mine just started her first semester at FIT. that’s a great fucking idea. i’d love to be in school again, learning some shit i give a fuck about. they have the Communication Design program, which from first looks seems to be right up my alley. FIT is (fairly) inexpensive, due to being a state school, and it’s respected. AND, it’s in new york city. fuck it, right? what’s to lose?

i’ll apply, and apply for some financial aid. see what happens. *shrug*

as far as music is going, i need to revamp my whole business design. ground up restructuring. i’m not sure how/if i can still utilize my current management. what i do need to do, though, is collect all my contacts worth knowing and give them all a buzz, once my company has been configured to my specs. i ain’t done shit worth talking about with networking, and contrary to a lot of the lazy bullshit i been spitting, i can get a lot done in philadelphia.

during lunch i’m going to try to clean up some lose ends regarding my apartment, and then try to find some internet so i can get some online business taken care of. i’ll try to grab somethin to eat too.

i’m supposed to possibly perform tomorrow, but i’m really not interested in hauling ass to DC on a bus by myself to rap and try to save money. i’d rather get a ride and nobody i know is driving. so fuck em. if it don’t look like some shit i really wanna do by 12pm tomorrow, i ain’t going. no regrets.

wow. getting all that out suddenly feels good on the brain. now i gotta follow through.
i ain’t happy but i ain’t sad. i’d say i’m sorta focused. i’m interested to see what i do in this period of massive instability and unpredictability. i’ma respond tho. that’s what i have to do.

and it’s what i wanna do.

one.